What Up Peeps!!!!
Can you say, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E?" The word, Divorce, is a word NO kid wants to hear!!! No matter how old they are!!! Well, just last night, I had heard it. I heard the word, "Divorce" coming out of my Dad's mouth........
My head is spinning, Peeps. What does divorce mean again?! What does the word custody mean again?! What does the word love mean again?! These words that I once knew, have now been forgotten. These words, "Divorce and Custody"......I have heard those words from different teenagers. But, I never thought that it could happen to me. These words has lied to me. They told me that this was NEVER going to happen to me......and I believed them. And love?! I think love has betrayed me as well. They told me that there's only one kind of love. But, that's not true. There are many different types of love. How do you really know when someone loves you?! How do you really know when someone has stopped loving you?! Well, I guess the perfect answer, is to look at my parents. :-(
Just last night, Dad had announced that he's already had a place to stay, and he'll be moving out in a month. I know what you're thinking, "Didn't he say that he wasn't going to move out again?!" I asked myself the same question. But, I guess he must have meant out of state, because he's already talking about how we're going to have soo much fun together. (Excluding Mom) When I heard this, I started to bawl like crazy!!! "What happened to when we used to go to Wal-Mart altogether ir de compras? (to go shopping) What happened to when we played Rummy on weekend nights?!" I screamed in my head as he was saying this. Those little things, or activities, we used to do may not have made a difference back then....but, it does now!!! I miss those things we used to do together. Now, I'm faced with the harsh reality that we (the family) will never do those things together ever again. And, there's NOTHING I can do about it.......
It hurts. I feel, actually feel, a piece of my heart breaking and leaving an empty space around it. And nothing can fill that empty space, BUT, for the whole entire family to get back together. And, sadly, it looks like that's never going to happen. But, the sad part about this, is that this tragedy will STAY with me for the REST OF MY LIFE!!!!! It'll never go away!!!
Peeps, I'm a wreck!!! Just look at me!!! I'm doing ALL Honors Classes, Marching Band, and Dealing with stuff and issues here, at home!!! This is hard to maintain!!!! There's way too much things happening at once. This is what's really behind my smile when you see me!!! Peeps...I'm in a quandary. How am I going to survive this year with all of this drama!!?? Peeps, if there's one thing you can learn from me, learn this:When you look at someone, and you think that they have a perfect life, or a better life than you, really take the time to look at their smile!!! Is it true...or just a mask to hide all of the pain?! For me, it's a mask to shield all of my pain and suffering!!! So, next time you're feeling green with envy because you think that a certain person is prettier than you or has the perfect life, take a look at their smile and really get to know them. Because 9 out of 10 times, some people's lives are not what they seem to appear.
Like me and my life!!! My parents are actually getting a divorce and will be taking turns having custody over me and my baby brother and sister!! I simply wish that I could change back time and tell my parents that I didn't want to move to Arizona when we were in Indiana. Because this incident of mom having a boyfriend here would have probably never happened in Indiana!!! Plus, back in Indiana, we were actually a FAMILY!!!{Chuckle} I mean, I knew that my mom and dad were dealing with problems, but DIVORCE?! That makes everything OFFICIAL!!! I actually miss those glory days. And, to think, I'll never get those glory days back!! Peeps, please don't feel sympathy for me!! I didn't mean to pry this news upon you!! It's just that, well, it's nice to tell you how I actually feel....since I don't really have a "Best Friend" here at North Canyon High School!! So, really, you're all I've got!!! Well, thank you Peeps sooo much for listening to me!!! I actually feel a little better since I had expressed myself!!! I'll talk to you guys next week!!!
*Remember*~Look what's really behind peoples' smiles. You never know what their life may be like unless you get to know them better.
Your, "Homesick" Friend,
Saidah Kamaria Wilson, A.K.A Princess Caspian
Saturday 6 September 2008
Sunday 31 August 2008
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